2017 is a mess. All kinds of foreign-types are running around making trouble. There’s a lot of talk about Left and Right, alt this and anti that, and people are making fools of themselves. Now what in heaven’s name does this have to do with regular America?
The answer is nothing, not a damned thing. We’ve got spies among us, enemy spies and they’re fixing to start a war. Watch out for their devious psychological operations. DO NOT attend street demonstrations. DO NOT follow orders from foreign infiltrators. How do we know if a leader is foreign? That’s easy. Do they look foreign? Do they act foreign? Do they sound foreign? If the answer to any of these questions is “Yes”, then we must disavow. And pay close attention to names: if we cannot pronounce, then we’ve got to denounce. Too many consonants? He’s from other continents. Missing a vowel? Something smells foul.
Remember our folk wisdom and heed it carefully: wait until you see the whites of their eyes. While some have claimed that this famous motto is merely a commentary on the limitations of antique muskets, it’s actually much more significant and esoteric. It describes a complete philosophy of combat and politics. The enemy will always try to draw us out and expose our positions. He wants his frightened quarry to panic and bolt. We must wait patiently. Let them get closer, closer – keep calm and show no fear. He wants to use his wretched proxies to provoke a response, then attack the exposed flank. Pay no mind to the proxies. Do not engage with them under any circumstances. Ideally we should turn their proxies into OUR proxies, that’s the Holy Grail.
There is no Left and Right, there’s only American Freedom and foreign tyranny. Our true nation must stick together despite any ideological differences. Whether we’re liberal or conservative, radical or moderate, our family is most important – the grand extended family of the Pilgrims and the Pioneers. Our great bards and heroes are with us in blood and in spirit: may we ever compete with our ancestors in all that is noble.